Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pant Rant

So a friend of mine writes to me and says, and I quote, "Can you please make a post about the right pants to wear with an ass like mine?!" Well, ask and you shall receive, sweet thang. That's what I'm here for.

Let me preface this post by getting this out of the way though: I absolutely hate pants. I stay away from the things as much as possible for the very reason my friend wanted me to write about them: when you're fat, pants are seriously the most complicated article of clothing to get right. That's why personally, I try to stick to skirts and dresses and thus side step the entire mess.

The thing is, telling you what pants to buy is tricky because it honestly comes down to trying the darn things on. A pair that looks great on the hanger (or on someone else) could give you massive camel toe or make you look ridiculously stumpy. It sucks, but it's true: when it comes to buying pants, there are few tangible rules since they fit everyone so differently. But, that said, I will give you some recommendations on what I think you should keep an eye out for:
  • Make sure pants fit nicely (read: snug) in the hip and thigh area, everything else can be altered by a tailor. There are few things worse than loose-fitting jeans, unless that's the look you're going for (which I don't really recommend for plus sized girls--the more body conscious, the better). Please note, this does not mean you should be squeezing into anything.
  • Small back pockets are usually a no-go.
  • No back pockets are always a no-go.
  • Do not believe the lie that fat girls can't wear skinny jeans, I don't care what Stacy and Clinton say.
  • A good place to shop is in the department stores that carry the ever elusive "Juniors plus" section (or places like Delias and Alloy, which carry jr. sizes up to 19 and 25, respectively). They get the whole "just because we're fat doesn't mean we wanna wear mom jeans" thing.
  • I am extremely partial to dark denim, and usually stay away from any fading/designs/etc. No, I would not like rhinestones on my ass, thanks for the offer though.
  • Okay, I must admit that while I am all for plus-sized girls breaking stereotypes of what they supposedly can and can't pull off, I gotta say, I'm totally not a fan of fat girls in high-waisted pants. I am open to someone proving me wrong, but so far it hasn't happened. And unless you have the fashion know-how to be sure you look bangin' in 'em, I'd avoid those too.
As for me, I've had success with pants and jeans from Old Navy and Torrid, and I've heard great things about urban brands like Apple Bottoms (yes, I know some of their stuff is downright heinous, but if nothing else, they know how to make a good fat-girl jean. Again, just stay away from the rhinestone/neon apples and stick to the basics please). Lastly, as most of you probably know, Lane Bryant came out with the "Right Fit" sizing system, which is supposed to solve all of these problems by making different sized pants based not only on how big you are, but also on your body-type. I haven't tried these myself (I tend to avoid LB like the plague), but I've heard mixed reviews. Here are a couple of examples of jeans I'd actually consider worth checking out:

Denim101 by GabiGregg

I have nowhere near that many pairs of pants in my closet though; the only ones I do wear on a regular basis are my absolute favorite, the Tripp Skinny Twill Pant from Torrid. These things are fabulous. They're made with the most forgiving fabric, I swear it's like wearing leggings. Here I am sporting them with a jersey knit size large (I told you, magic) top from f21:

Don't hate me; I know I wrote a lot to say a little. Just know there is only one message hiding within all of this text: to find pants, you gotta do the grunt work. Go try a bunch on and cross your fingers that you find that perfect fit (and if you do, memorize what aspects of the pants you like so you can look for them in the future!) And remember, depending on your body type, sometimes it really is just necessary to get your pants tailored. It's relatively inexpensive and will make a world of difference.

...Or you can just be like me, say to hell with pants altogether, and throw on some leggings or tights with a cute dress. Trust me, it's much easier that way.


  1. thanks for the shout out! i usually (and by that i mean ONLY) buy at old navy the sweetheart style. but i guess i will try other places. my fav was part was the no pockets part. obv. i like it when people think thats a good idea. i'll come up with more ideas for you soon. PLZ put the pics of the pants you do like up. thanks and good luck with life.

  2. I'm a friend of Samira's and linked here from her site. I loooove your blog!
    I have tried the LB "right fit" jeans, bought a pair right after having a baby. Not a fan. they were great for the moment since I pretty much never left the house, but they pretty much fall into the category of mom jeans (ugly washes, too high waist). I dig Old Navy for cheap jeans, and yes, I own a pair of the sweetheart skinny (and, I must admit, high rise) jeans in a 16. Fat girls can totally rock the skinny, screw Stacy!
    Thanks so much for starting this blog--you have great taste and a great layout!

  3. camel: i edited the entry and added some pics for you!

    alexis: thanks so much for the compliment! i feared as much about the LB jeans :(

  4. I actually like the LB right fits, because the blue shape happens to match up pretty well with my body, and I can wear them without a belt and my ass doesn't hang out when I bend down!!! (let me tell you, that is huge, -no pun intended ;) -- with a butt like mine!)
    BUT here's the thing: they don't at all make it clear, but there are two different rises offered, and only certain combinations of rise/bottom style/wash exist. So, the ONLY ones I buy are the ones with the lower rise, which only come in flare, but you have to read the descriptions of the styles to find out that the rises are different. (There are also limited wash choices in the lower rise ones, though I do like the dark wash, the lighter one is kind yuck. Actually this is very similar to what mine look like on me. ) It's been interesting having flare jeans, I had never had any before, but I kinda like them, especially with these slightly chunky boots I have.

    Also note: they are hella long (average inseam =33"; I'm gonna try a petite if I buy another pair, cuz I'm 5'7" but apparently have pretty short legs for my height) and the sizes are kinda wacky: the website tells me I should be a blue 3. The sales person insisted I was a red 2. Actual size: blue 1.

  5. where are those shoes from?! i love them.

  6. I love the Tripp skinny pants. I've owned about...oh, I don't know...a milli or so of them. I have one problem with them, I ride a bike and they always end up wearing super thin in the crotch. It always ends up as a hole. Not cute.

  7. Uuuugh, I know all about fitting pants-.-
    I really HATE it, you wanna see me grumpy, have me fit them
    they are or too small or too big for me
    and when they aren't they look like something my mom would wear X.x
    too bad i don't live in the us tho, would have like to use those sites

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